when two PhD candidates meet up

Malam tahun baru, saya mendapat kunjungan spesial dari seseorang. Sebut saja namanya Mas Bell (bukan nama sebenarnya .... biar kayak di koran-koran kriminal hahaha). Dia ini, pejuang pendidikan dari kota pelajar di UK.. pertama kali kenal beliau, karena kami tergabung dalam angkatan yang sama beasiswa sponsor studi kami...

Mas Bell ini sedang menghabiskan liburan natal dan tahun barunya di Belanda. Jadi, momen langka ini saya gunakan buat narik dia untuk ngopi-ngopi cantik di downtown Pandora Box. FYI, meskipun saya tuan rumahnya, mas yang satu ini lebih hapal kota daripada saya. MEMALUKAN. dengan dalih sok rajin pergi ke kampus dari pagi sampai malam hari, sehingga kekurangan waktu untuk jalan-jalan, saya biarkan dia yang jadi tour guide kali ini...

Kami menghabiskan waktu 2,5 jam untuk sekedar berbagi cerita...

dari obrolan malam itu, ada banyak sekali inspirasi yang membuat saya memutuskan untuk menunda postingan tentang last trip to Europe... dan memposting inspirasi hasil ngobrol-ngobrol dengan si Mas Bell ini....

Buat saya, hidup si PhD candidate yang satu ini "berguna" sekali... Berguna untuk dirinya sendiri dan orang lain. Secara kualifikasi, dia lulusan research master Utrecht University, dan sekarang sedang doktoral di UK. Oh man.. UK gitu.....

Selain itu, dia juga aktif mengasuh anak-anak kurang beruntung di rumahnya.... :) 

Saya selalu merasa bukan siapa-siapa ketika dihadapkan pada manusia-manusia Indonesia yang peduli kepada orang di sekitarnya. Mas Bell contohnya, secara usia, dia cuma lebih tua satu tahun dari saya, tapi... lompatan kebaikan yang dia lakukan ratusan kali lipat lebih jauh dari yang saya lakukan seumur hidup saya.... Saya tahu, saya bukan Tuhan yang bisa menilai perbuatan baik seseorang, tapi setidaknya secara kasat mata manusia saya , saya yakin Mas Bell ini salah satu Pemuda Indonesia yang baik.. Buktinya... dia menyembunyikan fakta bahwa dia punya anak asuh.. Saya kaget, iyah kaget!

Menyembunyikan sebuah kebaikan, dan melakukan lompatan yang besar, itu yang Mas ini lakukan (setidaknya seperti saya)

Buat saya, impian berbuat baik cuma ada dalam wish list saya, sudah saya beri stabilo supaya segera bisa saya lakukan! Tapi, tidak pernah dalam hidup saya berpikir untuk melakukan lompatan kebaikan sebesar yang Mas ini lakukan. Memiliki anak asuh..... 

Buat saya, memiliki anak asuh itu seperti kebaikan yang tidak akan pernah putus.. bayangkan efeknya seperti efek domino, ketika si anak asuh nanti besar dan dewasa serta sukses meniti hidupnya, bayangkan dia melakukan hal yang sama dengan yang dilakukan mas ini, begitu seterusnya...

Ada harapan besar Indonesia, yang bisa terwujud jika para Pemudanya tidak hanya memikirkan dirinya sendiri tapi juga orang lain...

Pembicaraan kami berakhir di Peron 21 ketika kereta menuju Tiel membawa Mas ini kembali ke tempatnya menginap...

See you soon, and wish you a happy new year

Sebuah resolusi tahun baru untuk saya yang harus kesampaian, terinspirasi dari ngopi-ngopi cantik dengan PhD candidate yang satu ini.... semoga saya juga bisa melakukan kebaikan dengan efek domino... amiiin ya Allah :)

such a doubt

I want to share several things for my blog readers (I wish this blog has more reader than before.... )

I have many things in mind. A lot of unspoken idea, that never before I shared in other social media or my online accounts. By the way, I have at least four social medias. Anyway.... Lets back to business!

I am 28 year-old. next month I will be 29. It means that I have only one year left before being thirty. During my whole time life, I have so many doubts ranging from a simple one like " do I forget to lock the door?" or a bigger issue like...  " will I get married?"

I am always asking myself like every single hour about "what kind of future will I have?" 

Several images pop up! Like, I will marry a hot blonde guy, or.. I will have twin boys.. a happily ever after look like- life. However, of course, I am not really sure, and sometimes I am not even brave enough to say this is the life I will have someday.. 

For several reasons, I knew that I have a happy life, a joyful inside the day passed by. I experienced Europe when I was 25, having a new perspective in how I see life. a new wonderful horizon.. I got very qualified higher education. I hold a bachelor degree from one of the best university in Indonesia, Also, I got two master degree, one of them is from one of top hundred world wide university. I have a job as civil servant (for this part I am not sure whether I should be thankful or the other way around. But still I put it on the list of blessing).

 Well, not all the things go according the plan, There was a time, I felt upset that a nightmare occurred in a real life. But, everything has to give a meaning, a lesson, or ... those bad times taught me to be strong, to survive. hundred times, I bounced every time the bad moment came! In the end, I am so proud of myself, I can still be me!

When I was a girl, I have been bullied a lot due to my overweight problem. As a teenager, I was always rejected by the person whom I loved. Growing in a broken home family, never did I think that I can have another worse problem than that... As I grew older, many problems came. But none of them brought me down....

I wanna grow as a strong person, even stronger as the time passes by. Yes, I cannot be somebody else, and exchange the life I have. What I can do is just let me be me, and let the time clocked... and found me as a better person. Along the process, I am evolving.. becoming "somebody".

Being thirty, I hope many good thing will happen.. I do not mind such a challenge, I have Allah who will guide me the way.. I am never really alone.. I have THE ONE with super power! the owner of the entire world. I am blessed I know Allah,... in my silly life. 

About Relaxing game and the memory of you

last Thursday on Faculty Christmas party, I won "relaxing game". It is the game to see how good are you at making yourself relax! There is a sensor put on your head, and there is a picture on the screen. The picture shows a mountain with a big tree.. what a lovely scene. The weather will change as your mood changes. A snow reflects you are depressed, a summer will come if you are relax. The better the weather, the better your feeling is.

I got 87, the highest number of the night in that game...

I do not want to share the game details or the present I got. But, I want to share about what is on my mind at that night...

I would like to change the language into bahasa, just in case the one I wrote will accidentally look at this post..

Oke, malam itu saya berpikir tentang dia.. selama lima menit game itu berlangsung, saya seperti memutar film dokumentari di kepala saya, masih teringat jelas, pertama kali saya bertemu dengannya, chat fb, perpustakaan, gedung olahraga, menara, makan malam, hingga kota susu bendera,
semuanya terasa indah, saking indahnya, jantung saya ikut berdetak kencang... saya merasakan saat bersama dia, saya merasa hidup.. padahal kami bukan sepasang kekasih.. kami hanya teman, teman baik, begitu yang dia bilang pada saya...
Apapun itu, hanya dengan membayangkan kebersamaan kami saja saya merasa sangat bahagia.. saya tidak bisa berharap lebih..... saya tahu diri....

In sum, I won the game. I got adult colouring book that I have been wanted for the last half year.... well, I cannot be more relax!

postingan serius tentang blog ini...

Rasanya sudah lama blog ini tidak diisi dengan postingan serius...
terakhir kali... saya sendiri lupa kapan terakhir kali saya posting sesuatu yang serius.
Belakangan saya disibukan dengan hari-hari bagaikan di dunia mimpi, fairy tale negeri dongeng..

Tentang blog ini, atau kepada kalian yang tiba-tiba kesangkut di blog ini karena sebenarnya sedang googling sesuatu.... blog ini, seperti banner gede di sampulnya jeruk dan lampu merah kuning hati-hati. Sebetulnya itu bukan kuning sih, itu jingga....

ini adalah curhat colongan, dan hasil pemikiran tidak jelas yang selama ini tercecer dimana-mana

saya suka banget nulis... sukaaaa banget!
dari kecil, saya terbiasa punya note kecil, untuk sekedar menumpahkan ide-ide terpendam.
beberapa kali ditolak penerbit, dan akhirnya terdampar jadi blogger, yang belum punya pengikut..
seperti yang selalu saya bilang di blog saya bahwa saya ingin suatu hari nanti tulisan-tulisan saya akan bisa meginspirasi orang lain. seperti Anne Frank dan diary nya,, atau.. Aya Kitou dengan catatan hariannya. Buat saya, menulis seperti membekukan buah pikiran. Pikiran yang ingin saya bagikan pada semua orang. Berharap satu dua orang akan terinspirasi dengan kisah monoton saya ini. Dan saya selalu merasa iri, kalau melihat ada penulis yang bisa membagikan karyanya...

Dulunya tulisan-tulisan saya cuma jadi sampah tercecer dimana-mana , hingga akhirnya, saya memutuskan untuk memulai dokumentasi tulisan saya secara online melalui sebuah blog. Waktu itu Juli 2010 " say hai " menjadi postingan pertama saya. Semakin hari, tulisan saya berkembang.. kadang ke arah yang lebih baik, kadang sebaliknya. Saya kadang suka nyampah di blog ini, nyampah dalam arti sebenrnya. Menumpahkan satu dua kalimat lalu mempostingnya. Untung, untung saja blog ini belum punya subscriber tetap. Kebayang mereka dapat email notifikasi postingan baru dan isinya cuma sampah!

blog ini bernama jingga... karena...
kayaknya saya sudah sering posting tentang kenapa namanya jingga's story?
hahaha, semoga jawabannya konsisten yah dengan postingan-postingan lama saya.
oke, saya suka sekali senja, itu lho ketika langit jadi berwarna jingga. Saya sukaaaaa sekali warnanya seperti menyala dan membakar. Jadi saya putuskan blog ini bernama jingga's story.
Saya memang tidak pintar memilih nama... tapi.. saya pastikan  "apalah arti sebuah nama" akan berlaku di blog ini. Saya akan tetap menulis dan menulis.

Tidak terasa pula sudah lima tahun blog ini ada... kadang, saya suka sekali membuka postingan-postingan lama saya., sekedar menengok seperti apa saya lima tahun yang lalu. Banyak sekali momen-momen yang saya pikir,,,, Kapan saya menulis seperti ini.. apa iya saya pernah mengalami kejadian-kejadian seperti ini.,,, kebiasaan jelek saya adalah, saya suka mem-fiksi-kan kejadian dalam hidup saya.. jadi ketika beberapa tahun ke depan saya membuka tulisan lama saya lagi, saya tidak bsa membedakan mana yang asli mana yang bukan..
seperti tulisan MONSTER LADANG JAGUNG. cerita di balik itu adalah saya pernah dizolimi sama seorang di kelas, fitnah tingkat tinggi.

Blog ini juga teman waktu saya patah hati, bukan hanya waktu patah hati, waktu saya jatuh cinta, pacaran, ditolak, putus, di-php-in sama cowok, semua deh kisah cinta yang pernah terjadi dalam hidup saya, saya tumpahkan di sini. Waktu jatuh cinta, saya bisa puitis setengah mati,, tapi sayangnya, saya lebih sering nyampah di blog ini ketika saya sedang kena virus merah jambu. Waktu patah hati, saya bisa lebih puitis lagi. Banyak sekali postingan di blog ini yang masa produksinya adalah saat saya patah hati... karena, ketika patah hati, naluri fiksi saya juga lebih sering berkelana daripada biasanya.

Selain tentang cinta, saya juga sering mengumbar mimpi dan harapan di blog ini. Di awal-awal perjuangan menuju dunia mimpi sebelum saya menemukan jalan ke Pandora Box, saya sering menuliskan sugesti positif untuk diri saya sendiri di blog ini. Kalau kata orang, saya ini narsis. jadi, seumur hidup saya belum pernah menerima sebuah tulisan yang ditujukan pada saya, walhasil.. saya menulis sendiri penyemangat hidup saya melalui blog ini. Selain saya tujukan untuk diri saya sendiri, tulisan yang berkaitan dengan mimpi  yang ada di blog ini juga saya persembahan untuk para pejuang mimpi! SEMANGAT!!

Blog ini....
saya berharap, suatu saat nanti ada yang akan membukukan blog ini. Saya harap...

Selain iri dengan penulis yang sudah punya buku, saya juga iri dengan para blogger yang blog-nya dibukukan, atau difilmkan... Oleh karena itu, ke depan saya akan tetap menulis.. berusaha untuk bisa membuat penerbit melirik blog-ku mungkin??
who knows...

Dicken Festijn

Hey Oliver Twist... What a pleasure to meet you, in your hometown.... 
Pandora Box... Thanks to a warm welcome!

Charles Dicken,  a brilliant writer.. is alive!
I do not know who is the lucky one, Dicken who has Deventer, the city full of imagination, or Deventer that has Dicken, a writer... with thousand crazy idea....

I arrived at the train station, when a group of choir singing a Christmas song! I became damn excited when after that a lady gave me a cookie... :)

I had to wait in the very long queue. Almost 60 minutes waiting to enter the festival, and I found it was worth it really,,, small parade of Dicken characters... passed me by....

another group of music... well... I was excited already before entering the festival.... 

Finally... the festival... :) 

Every year on the Christmas holiday, Deventer always reminds Dicken fans of his fantasy.. always,, it is like a dream come true.. fairy tale... that comes alive! I am more than lucky to experience Dicken Festijn this year..  in my first year of PhD..

I am waiting... waiting for another experience to come.....!

Hey Pandora Box, surprise me more please!

Home is never 100% home anymore after....

Living in Pandora Box

I feel alive, and Home is never 100% home anymore....

Well, in Pandora Box, I found really different world. Different perspective, different thing, or simply different people. This post is about things that make me feel I step into the new world, and do not want to find a way back!

No... please....

on the first picture you will see a lot of bikes! yess, they (people in Pandora Box) are cycling a lot. There is no wonder here, 50 year-old-woman still goes everywhere by herself, cycling around the city....  I myself enjoy the cycling time. sometimes, I look at the sky, the cotton candy sky, take a deep breathe and whisper, "I hope it is not a dream" 

Second picture, sometimes, when it rains, I take a bus to the campus. The bus is always on time (yeah lately it is late for a minute or two, but in my home it is still "punctual"), All the drivers in the Pandora Box are so friendly that I cannot come into the bus without saying hello with the big smile on my face.

I took the next picture on my way taking the bus to the city centre. It is clear, that Pandora Box is full of 'green' joy!! sometimes they have a small lake or river crossed the park.. when the sun shines, the birds fly........ the Pandora Box for me is like a fairy tale... really..... 

and in the winter, I love how the tree has no leaves at all. it gives me a sexy feeling of Halloween and Christmas plus New Year combination! In the past, I watched Tim Burton's movie a lot and always imagined that one day, I will experience the "no-leaf" tree by myself! and I did!

Well, albert H***n is my favorite shop to do grocery.. I go there a lot, checking the bonus card, the orange hamster sign.... AND what is important is... sometimes, I look at handsome employees also at this shop ahhahahaa

My life in Pandora Box is always about "traveling" get my ov-chipkaart filled and yeah I am more than ready....

The train station,, is one of my favorite place in Pandora Box. I like seeing people walking down the hall, checking their next train schedule, saying goodbye to their couple and getting busy with their coffee as well as running catching the next train. I love the feeling of how train station becomes so alive, feeling some sense of belonging there....

In Pandora Box, I eat chocolate a lot! I can eat a big bar of chocolate in one go! hahahhaha.. yes it is definitely because the chocolate here is damn good! A sweet treat for myself, enjoying living the dream.... is a must!!

The next picture, smullers...

this place is ....... hiding a lot of memories, I used to eat smuller friets with friends of mine. My travel mates, girls/! I miss you so much........ I do not want to tell you about the taste of the friets, because, I just realized that the taste is not the same as the last time I ate them with the girls!!!!!!!!!

sigh.. cry cry cry....

Concluding remarks : Please don't wake me up!

I want to stay in this Pandora Box forever! 

please....

lari ke hutan belok ke pantai

Well, for  Indonesian, the quote from AADC movie "kulari ke hutan belok ke pantai" must be the most popular romance quote ever... anyway...

Yesterday, 13 December, I literally, run to the forest and turn to the beach...! literally, for the very first time in my life. and it happened in Pandora Box! Perfect!! 

It is kinda funny, in fact I am a tropical student.. and never in my life did I experience a journey to a forest by accidental moment ,,, (except the scouting camping activities).like suddenly the idea pops up in your mind and you said,,, just go/....

The journey began somewhere in Baarn.. little small cute city, where they have forest in the city....

Oh my God, the tree without leaves is definitely sexy... anyway....

After taking 30 minutes cycling, we arrived at the castle in the middle of the city..

I love how Pandora Box gives me thousands of castle experiences... it always feels like cinderella story is real,,, (or even Frozen) ......

After spending couple hour in Baarn, We went to Zaandvort aan Zee.. I literally had no idea, where is it... hahahaha.. as long as it is something good lets go then!

another haring... I cannot even imagine 7000miles away without haring.... the most delicious food ever... simply because, it is Pandora Box... :)

Well, basically, the beach in Pandora Box is not as special as they have in Indonesia, but...

I am the one enjoying a windy, cold beach, instead of hot tropical one, so........

my supervisor JAAAANG!!!!!

it has been more than a week I become a PhD student in Pandora Box.
I found it is more interesting than I have ever imagined before.
I got a nice handsome one as my supervisor... well, he is super duper nice person...
So far, during my life time I have at least 7 academic supervisors in total. And he is the youngest one...
He really helps me a lot.
He even wrote a nice personal comment on his disertation book.. which somehow put some pressure on me...
it goes like this...

Dear Delphine,
Thank you for taking an interest in my topics of large-scale infrastructure development and multilevel governance. I feel honoured that you trust me in supervising your PhD. Hopefully in a few years you will also have a Book like this and write a personal word in my copy :-)
I'm looking forward to our collaboration!!
Best of luck,
xxxxxxx

Utrecht, 8-12-15

see... some pressure...
He said that he is honoured, maaaaan.... I should be the one saying that thing.... How I feel such an honoured being supervised by a talented young scholar like you really!
I still remember the first day I met him, he was so kind guiding me go around the campus, (sst.. my colleague some PhD students are jealous that I have a short tour with my supervisor).
I still also remember the day he gave me tons of book, while laughing he said do not read all of them otherwise you will be dizzy... and he left the room with a smile.
I still (again) remember how he told many story about his family... , that gives me impression that he is a nice good family man, which is good.... I hope he will be patient having me as his student! as patient as taking care of his baby hahahahaha....
I am a baby scholar wanna be.... ahhahhahaaha

Well, sir! I hope I can learn a lot of thing from you. Not only about all academic things, but also, how to be so humble that a dumb like me could feel comfortable.
Anyway...

I am looking forward to the next 4years.... lets living the dream!