entahlah apa yang terjadi dengan hatiku. Tuhan aku kali ini menyerah mendeskripsikan apa yang kurasakan. dadaku sesak Tuhan untuk hal yang tidak kutahu penyebabnya. oh iya Tuhan, aku juga merasakan ada sejuta kupu-kupu yang terasa mau keluar dari dadaku. Kau pasti tahu,Tuhan.. bukankah Engkau maha membolak balikkan hati. termasuk hatiku Tuhan.

Tuhan, apakah ini saat yang tepat untukku untuk meminta?
tidak! jangan dijawab dulu Tuhan. aku sudah tahu jawabannya. bukankah Engkau yang selalu memeluk mimpi-mimpiku kemudian mewujudkannya dengan caramu yang indah.

Tuhan, aku mohon kali ini saja biarkan aku mengerti apa yang terjadi dengan sebongkah hati yang Kau ciptakan. biarkan juga aku tahu tentang apa yang membuatnya demikian.

Tolong aku Tuhan.

okay,, I haven't gone to Bandung and I've already felt homesick.... what???
there is a weird feeling in my mind.... feeling glad and blue in the same time...

I feel glad that finally one of my 2012 resolution come faster than I've ever thought, I also feel blue, that I realized I will live alone once more like I've ever felt before... hufht...

Okay, I think I need to be focus, my goal is Europe especially Holland....!!
Dee, come on! you have to be focus.... you have to!!

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abaikan postingan ini... ini adalah postingan galau, yang sebenarnya gak penting.. tapi menurut buku yang gue baca, mahasiswa master kayaknya butuh tempat buat curhat (baca : blog) dan kebetulan blog ini kebagian sialnya buat jadi tempat sampah dari pemikiran gue yang ga jelas.

yang lebih sialnya lagi,
mungkin yang nge-baca yang lagi suntuk terus baca curhatan gue yang gak jelas dan ruwet ,,,,,

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here's the thing I have to do before go to Bandung
1. Print big banner of Sungmin.. hahahahahahaaa,,,,
2. collect the form to national planning agency
3. Printer ----- thanks to my office mate who really kind pay the service bill.

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kenapa gue milih harus nge-print posternya oppa?? karena,,, eh karena,, seperti postingan gue sebelumnya oppa bener-bener nemenin gue lewat lagunya yang gue download secara gratis di situs simpan data.
jadi kerasa gak sepi dan kayak punya temen waktu itu..
jadi gue akan mendramatisir suasana kos gue, sama kayak perjuangan gue waktu daftar kemarin... kali ini ditambah big poster biar tambah kerasa gak sendirian (asal tuh poster ga kedip ajah waktu malem-malem/ kenapa emangnya?? / kalo kedip gue kedipin balik,,,, habis oppa ganteng siiih.....

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okelah... saya masih terbayang-bayang nonton konser sushow 3 3d... OMO... jadi pengen nonton live sushow 4... baiklah.. mengencangkan ikat pinggang.... nabung sebanyak-banyaknya,, berharap harga tiket di bulan april cuma 800rb ajah (uangnya dikira-kira cuma segitu yang bakalan kekumpul) hiks hiks.... karena mulai tgl 11 feb saya resmi jadi anak kos,, ya sudahlah tambah ngencengin ikat pinggang sekencang-kencangnya...

kabar berhembus kalo april 28-30 bakal ada sushow4 ina.. wew... kalau boleh jujur sejujur jujurnya,, kadang saya berharap kalo sushow ina mending ga usah ada,, sakit hati kayaknya kalo tuh sungmin datang ke indo dan gw ga bisa nonton (tragedy KIMCHI)..... eh kok saya jadi ELF yang jahat sih.......

beneran deh jadi ELF itu mahal! harus jadi orang kaya buat punya CD ori, DVD konser ori, nonton konser Live, Merchandise ori, whoooaaaa banyaaak deh... mana belum tentu tuh album cuma keluar satu type ajah..... kalo ada type A, type B, type C, aaaah.....

baiklah tapi ada untungnya juga kalo gitu saya jadi rajin nabung,, terutama kalo ada sushow beredar...

Dan akhirnya gw nonton ss3 3d juga hahahaha... After all things happened.. It was saturday 4feb with friends of mine.. Whoaaaaa feel so close with my future husband sungmin. He is really cute like little rabbit... It was in grand indonesia studio 9 at 13:50 .... That show makes me envy... Want to watch real live suju concert.....

Hufht... It is like a fantasy.... Cool briliant made me speechless along the movie...

from BANDUNG to HOLLAND (part 5)

finally,, internet di kantor nyala lagi.. yes!! menikmati kembali internet unlimited, download-download buat bekal di bandung...

okeh, posting hari ini...
I dedicated this posting to "super junior".... what??? somebody may ask why 'super junior'.. I still remember day by day I applied so many scholarship application alone by myself no body, except the super junior song's played on my playlist. from I don't know when it was, many super junior song become my Official Sound Track in applying any scholarship, in this case applying my future..

it might be important tips, having some soundtrack is like having " a friend" accompany you to chase your dream. you can choose another song you like ( I don't recommend you to like super junior or extremely become an ELF )

for me listening to the music is something makes me relax, always! it is like an entertainment for my own self.......

i'm single... yes I am!!!

this is not my choice but God did... this afternoon i have lunch my room mate in the office named eilif.. so far we are close enough as friend to talk about personal life. and being single was topic of the day (he already get married-- it was easier for him to discuss... ggg )

this "single" is related with the moment i got scholarship. he said this scholarship was like my priority for several years and it came true... he said that maybe because the influence of my single status. no boyfriend or someone who will marry me sooner.

well his analysis might be true.. being single means i have more much 'me' time to reschedule my future. i'm totally weak last day i broke up and it is like a recovery. i don't want to be single i mean no body wanna be lonely. but i still can not meet the right person or maybe have not been found by right person. i'm not pretty and have no confidence in order to wish having a man who really love me. the last two ex boyfriend i got dump me like a rubbish just because they found another woman who prettier than me... hey where's inner beauty going??

and for next two year i promise to myself for not thinking too much about getting boyfriend. this scholarship must be end in holland and i don't wanna be dump anymore.... i don't!!!

disaat postingan ini dibuat... gue lagi duduk nungguin febri yang sholat di lippo.. berhubung gue mau pindah ke bandung secepatnya... so it is like a farewell party between us. we have known each other for last 4months.. not a long time to know each other but... we usually spent our weekend together. i feel comfort with her so far and reliza that i will leave her soon seems unbelievable. she was my english course mate. and she is the closest one maybe because she is not too young compare with me.

by this part i've already been home.... i started a little busines with her in order to get extra money. two of us are single
and for myself being single means i can focus with myself doing something better.... no more cry.....